Had An Interesting Phone Call

Had the most interesting phone call this morning and thought I would share its contents.

Mate bought a new car for his wife and got promoted at work and now gets a company car, so put his old car on his drive as he didn't need it due to having a company car.

He has new neighbours and according to him they are fine, but doing a lot of work to their house and they have kept him up to speed on whats happening and asked if they could remove the fence and use his drive to stand a crane on and he agreed, the crane came and to get its outriggers out they asked if they could move his car onto the road so they could site the crane on his double drive and back the lorry delivering neighbours items onto neighbours drive to unload it, the crane driver moved mates car and parked it on the road, within about 10 minutes it was clamped as it was SORN.

Mate got a little nasty and decided to have some fun, he claims the car is virtually scrap as he works for a company who do all the cast site concrete for everything from roads to full concrete framed buildings and as he was only working a few miles from home he nipped in and looked at it and thought "time for a little fun", because of his profession cars tend to rot quickly and as they were having concrete being delivered to site he went and cleared the car out and went a little further.
He lifted all the carpets and put a skim of concrete under the carpets and put them back, he filled every void not visible with concrete, he knocked up a box and put it in the boot and this was also filled with concrete, he even went under the bonnet and filled the rocker cover to fill the engine with concrete, and of course he filled everything from the radiator to the air filter housing, and left the car on the road, clamped; normally he would just cut the clamp off and it would disappear.

The day of reckoning came and out came the truck to lift the car, it pulled up alongside his car and set up for a lift, it attached its chains and tried to lift it, they didn't notice the four steel blocks holding the car from underneath to keep it at the right height, and their lorry wouldn't lift it so they disappeared and came back with another truck and this wouldn't lift it, so they went and got the heavy mob with an even bigger truck and this just lifted it and blew a hydraulic hose in the process and had to call out a mobile hydraulic hose repairer to make a new hose.
It managed to lift it onto the bed and as they left with a concrete filled car his wife rang the council and reported the fact they had covered the road in hydraulic oil and it was a danger to motorists and pedestrians alike, they will regret coming out to that job as the cost of sending out three trucks, the cost of the repair to the hydraulic hose, and the impending environmental PCN from the council will ensure they made a significant loss on it, and there will be the clean up costs of the hydraulic oil.

I asked him how much concrete he managed to get into the car and he claims "about 3 tonnes" which means it will have severely damaged what little bits of the car worked, so they cannot sell it either. I was in stitches laughing as he is a man after my own heart.

After everything that has gone wrong in my home, it was a joy and great pleasure to read this story,assassin.

He is like that LL, once he had a site manager riding him and he filled site managers car boot full of concrete.